You you are an Oregonian if...

• You know the state flower is mildew.
• You know the state motto:  "Rain? What rain?"
• You have a T-shirt that says, "200 Billion Slugs Can't Be Wrong!"
• You use the term "sun break" and know what it means.
• You open the windows in the summer to let the warm air in.
• Your Early Girl tomatoes ripen in September.
• Names like Point No Point, Useless Bay, Deception Pass, Destruction Island and Friday Harbor don't phase you.
• You feel guilty throwing out paper or aluminum cans.
• To you, if it doesn't have snow or hasn't erupted recently, it is not a real mountain.
• You know more people who own a boat than own an air conditioner.
• You will stand on a deserted corner in the rain and wait for the "Walk" signal.
• You feel overdressed if you wear a suit to a fancy restaurant.
• You can order coffee 10 different ways.
• You can taste the difference between Seattle's Best, Tully's and Starbucks.
• To you, swimming is an indoor sport.
• You never go camping without a poncho and waterproof matches.
• You know the difference between Coho, Chinook, and Sockeye salmon.
• You know how to pronounce Puyallup, Sequim, Sekiu, Yakima, Oregon, Wenatchee, Steilacoom, Quileute, Cle Elum and Willamette.
• You know Forks is not a bunch of eating utensil but a town on the Olympic Peninsula.
• You can tell the difference between Thai, Japanese and Chinese food.
• You know that Boring is not a state of mind, but a town in Oregon.
• You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
• You know that a forecast of "rain, changing to showers" means "constant drizzle changing to intermittent drizzle."
• You are not fazed by the weather forecast, "Today:  Showers followed by rain.  Tomorrow:  Rain followed by showers."
• You rejoice at a forecast of "rain with sun breaks."
• You know what "The mountain is out" means.
• When the temperature gets above 50, you put on your shorts (If you're warm blooded, that is. If you're cold blooded, you wear a sweatshirt all summer.)
• You can point out at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through the cloud cover.
• You think people who use umbrellas are either tourists or wimps (or both).
• You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
• You knew immediately that the view out of Frazier's window was fake.
• You use a down comforter and wear flannel pajamas in the summer.
• Your kid's Halloween costumes fit under a raincoat.
• You know all the seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer and Elk season (Fall).
• Every year you have to buy new sunglasses because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.
• You consider "etiquette" a foreign word.
• You personally know someone from California.
• You resent being called a weirdo.
• You drool at the world's worst spaghetti sauce.
• In the winter, you go to work in the dark, come home in the dark, and only have an 8 hour day.
• You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.
• You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip (or you know what it is).
• The bride and groom registered at REI.
• You are amazed at an accurate weather forecast.
• If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.
• You'd be miffed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water.
• Every day is casual Friday.
• You obey all traffic laws except keep right and left passing.
• You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.
• You've ever tasted Pace extra mild picante sauce.

(I confess: I got these jokes off a couple of websites.)


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